October 8, 1912
REPUBLICAN JUNK FOR SALE
The Latest Notice of a Public
Sale on March 5, 1913
Our lease with Uncle Sam having practically expired, and having decided to retire to private life, we the undersigned, will offer for sale, at our residence, National Capital Washington, D.C., March 5, 1913 all the following described property, to-wit:
One elephant about 40 years old and has the foot rot.
One set of injunctions and high cost of living, old enough to wean, sired by Goldbugs and damned by everybody.
One Republican platform, as good as new; has only been used for campaign purposes.
In this platform a large number of planks from the democratic platform have been inserted, but they cannot be distinguished and they will go with the lot.
One Big Stick somewhat worn from over-use.
One Republican Machine, somewhat out of repairs.
One Financial System, well supplied with Clearing House Certificates, and a little cash.
A large quantity of old dinner pails, grandpa hats, coon skins, Teddy bears, Taft smiles and other things too numerous to mention.
This sale will positively take place on the above date regardless of weather, and everything must be closed out on that date.
Toast Crow will be served by the Old Boys' Republican Club.
Everybody, regardless of past political servitude invited. This stuff must be cleared away.
TERMS-Cash before removing property.
JOE CANNON, Auctioneer.
Col. ROCKEFELLER, J.P. MORGAN, VANDERBILT, Managers
TEDDY ROOSEVELT, Clerk--
Watonga, Ok. Herald.